Cheat Sheet

Alan’s out of town this weekend at some biker thing…and Mommy & Kristen are heading to a wedding today.  I’ve had a babysitter lined up for Ryder for months, but it fell through at the last minute yesterday.  I was panicking a little, thinking maybe I should just stay home, when my blog friend Nicki (except this is the last time I’m going to call her that because she’s my real friend now, like in real life, imagine that!) saved me and offered to keep Ryder.  Well actually she insisted that I cannot miss my cousins wedding and her, Matteson, & Mikayla would love to have Ryder’s company for the rest of the weekend.  Thank you Nicki!  I think you guys are going to have so much fun!

Of course, in all of my paranoia, I can’t stop thinking about some of the most important things that I should tell her, incase she can’t understand him or doesn’t know what he wants, so I thought I would make this cheat sheet.  Not only for her reference, but so that I can have it to look back on when he doesn’t need a translator.

• He has 2 bug bites on his leg, so if he holds his leg up and says “iiiit” he’s asking you to itch his bug bites!
• If he randomly starts saying “freeeeee” he’s singing my ring tone Free by Zac Brown Band.  He has good taste in music, or maybe my phone just rings too much!
• He says “baby dump” a lot…but we’re pretty sure that translates to Baby Doll, he’ll probably call Mikayla that, he hears Nana saying it every day.
• He will probably cry when you lay him down to go to sleep, just tell him it’s night-night time.  He’s a con-artist so if he asks “rock” or “meek” tell him no, it’s not time for rocking or music, go to sleep!
• He has a great memory, so every time Mikayla calls you Mommy, he’s probably going to remember that Mommy left him. He can be distracted easily with crayons or bubbles!
• He’ll eat anything you feed him, and if he acts like he doesn’t want it, let him dip it in ketchup!
• If he gets a red ring around his eye, rub some vaseline on it, he’s fighting some dry skin around his left eye that will not budge!
• Feel free to put his hair up, he’s pretty secure with his masculinity, so if his hair is in his face and driving you crazy, bring out the hair ties!
• If he’s mean to Mikayla, you better punish him!  No pinching allowed!  Just pick him up and move him to a spot all by himself, it hurts his feelings and he’ll get the point!

Okay, I won’t go overboard, everything else he says you should be able to understand.  Good luck, he’s a stubborn little guy, but I know you’ve got plenty of experience with that!  Have fun!!!!  I’m sure the love birds are going to enjoy their romantic weekend together!