Isaiah 41:10

A while back I was reading through my Bible and came across this verse that really stood out to me.  I read over it a few times and had this thought that one day I would need to come back to this verse.  So I did something that I never do, I went and got a post-it note and wrote the verse down, then stuck it in my purse for an easy reference, just incase the day came that I wanted to look it up and re-read it.  I was proud of myself for doing this, instead of telling myself that I’ll remember it and never being able to find it again.

This has been another rough week.  This therapy schedule is tough and we are ending the week exhausted, just as we did last week.  When I am energized, I can stay positive and I can deal with things as they come.  But being tired and stressed is just not a good combination for my brain, I can’t process things, so I end up over-analyzing this whole situation.  Is all of this therapy going to work?  Is it mean to do this to Ryder?  Does he even need all this?  It’s costing so much money.  He hates these long trips in the car.  Maybe I should just cancel all the rest of his appointments.  But wait…they just told me that his motor skills are at the level of a 10 month old!!  Obviously he needs this therapy.  He has fun while we’re there and they are helping him.  I mean, I think it’s helping. God, can you just please give me a glimpse into the future so I can see what happens.  Does the therapy help?  Does he get better?  Can you just show me a day in our life 10 years from now.  Can he use his left hand?  Can he play sports?  Is he happy?  And that’s about 5 minutes of the 1.5 hour trip to or from therapy.  I think I’m the one that needs a therapist, HA! 

Luckily I can find my therapy in my quiet time with God.  On the weekdays I wake up at 5am to read my Bible and spend time in prayer before starting the day.  (Just a side note, I joined the 5:00 club on the Girl Talk Blog and this concept has been a true blessing in my life!) Well one morning this week as I opened my Bible to continue my reading, I got this weird memory of a verse that I wanted to remember.  I knew it was in Isaiah.  I started flipping the pages, hoping that it would jump out at me.  I remembered feeling like there would come a day that I would NEED to read this verse and the day was here and, go figure, I couldn’t find it.  I gave up looking for it that day.  The next morning, I could not get rid of that nagging feeling in my gut that I needed to find this verse, and then I remembered that I wrote it down.  I started shaking my Bible to see if any loose paper would fall out, nothing, checked my nightstand, nothing, checked my planner in my purse, nothing…but then I realized that it was definitely in a purse.  I started searching the purses in my closet, and there it was, on a yellow sticky note, Isaiah 41:10.  I don’t know when I wrote the verse down, but I can tell you that it was 3 purses ago!  I couldn’t wait to jump back on my bed and get to this verse, and oh how I hoped that it filled this void I had been feeling.  It did.

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Thinking back now to the reason I wrote it down, I remember thinking “if there really is something wrong with Ryder’s left hand, maybe this verse will make me feel better because God always references His own right hand as being strong and mighty”.  But now that I have found this verse, it has made me feel better, but for so many other reasons than what I initially thought it would!  This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  God is with me, I don’t need to be afraid of this situation.  He is making me strong even though I feel so weak and out of control, He is going to help me through this, and yes He is going to hold me up (with his right hand!) even when I feel exhausted and down.  It applies to Ryder as well…God is going to help him and strengthen him, whether he regains full function of his left hand, or none at all, he has nothing to be afraid of!  In fact, if you read a little further into the text, Isaiah 41:13 says:

For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you.”

Wow!  Thank God for post-its!  I’m not saying that all of a sudden I feel 100% great about this situation, or that I ever will…but atleast now when I start feeling down, I know where to turn.  Isaiah 41:10.