Friday Funnies!

Ryder is always good for a laugh!  Here a few of his latest and greatest:

I was on the phone in the kitchen and he came running out of his room with his phone and said “hey mom, lets all talk on our phones!  Are you talking to me?  Cause I’m talking to you!”

Alan put him to bed while I was in the shower the other night.  When I got out, I ran in to tell him goodnight before he fell asleep.  He said “mom, are you naked??” I said “NO Ryder!” he said “well where’s your shirt??”  It was dark in there and I had on a spaghetti strap shirt, so I guess he couldn’t see it.  I pulled the strap and said, “it’s right here.” He said “oh…cool shirt.” 

He gets really upset in the car when the sun shines on him.  He will start yelling “NO SUN!!!  Don’t touch me sun!!!  It’s not fair sunnnn!”  So I tried to explain to him that he needs to be nice to the sun.  That God gave us the sun so that we could have light and see everything around us.  So he says “I like the dark, I don’t like the sun” so I explained that if it were dark he wouldn’t be able to see Mommy or Daddy or Maisy or…he interrupts me “will I be able to see Diego??”  Well no, not in the dark.  “Okay, I like the sun so I can see Diego.”  Apparently his family isn’t as important!

“Hey Mom, can I sleep downstairs on the couch tonight?” (since we don’t have a downstairs or a couch I just agreed because I had no idea where he was going with this).  Sure buddy!  “okay sooooo I need a couch.  And some stairs.”  I’ll get right on that!

As I’m typing this he just called me in his room and said “What are you eating?” I said “a graham cracker” he said “oh that sounds cracky, can I crack one?”

When we were at Nicki’s the other night she picked him up and he couldn’t think of anything to say so he just broke out into song “Twinkle, Twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the….hey, there’s a purple pumpkin up there!”  Nicki said “wow Ryder, do you have ADD?” he said “YUPPPP, ABCDEFG” and started singing the alphabet.

By far the funniest thing he has EVER said…he was sitting in the living room playing with some tools.  I was on the computer and he came over to me first with his hammer and said “Momma, first I’m gonna BANG ya!”  I started laughing, thinking wow, that didn’t sound right.  Then he comes over with his screwdriver and says “Momma, now I’m gonna SCREW ya!”  I laughed even harder, of course.  Then he came over with his saw and said “And now I’m gonna cut you off!!”  I said “and YOU are a typical man!”  (what I felt like saying was “You a**hole!  Go to your room!”)