Reality Check

I don’t know what in the world led me to start doing research on Posterior Urethral Valves this weekend…you would think I would have done that long ago, when we found out that was what Ryder had.  But I didn’t.  Truthfully, I was too scared.  I never wanted to hear or read anything negative, I only wanted to know the positive, and since I knew this was not realistic, I chose not to even look into it.  I only knew what his Doctors shared with me.  So, maybe it’s the fact that I know Ryder is healed, we don’t have to worry about anything anymore so I felt like it would be safe to look and see what was out there.  And that I did.  I wanted to see if there were any other blogs out there of children born with PUV and see what their Mom’s had to say about it…to my surprise I actually found some.  I found 5!  The next sentence is why I’m sitting here with a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes, and the biggest knot in my stomach.  4 out of the 5 lost their babies hours after they were born!  The 5th is on dialysis, on the list waiting for a kidney transplant!  I feel so guilty and naive saying this, but I really didn’t realize that what we were facing was so serious…like I said, I never let my mind wander to that place.  The stories that I’ve been reading the past few nights and the statistics that I’ve seen have given me the biggest reality check of my life.  The condition is so rare that only 1 in 8,000 little boys are born with it, and the mortality rate is 77%!  I’m so thankful that I was oblivious to these facts while I was pregnant…that percentage would’ve caused a major meltdown for sure. 

This has been all I can think about the last few days, I’ve been analyzing our situation over and over in my head, trying to wrap my brain around how blessed we are, and finally understanding why the Doctors always told us that Ryder has been the absolute best case scenario.  The conclusion I have come to is that God really does work in mysterious ways.  When I found out I had gestational diabetes, I couldn’t help but laugh…I felt like God was having a sense of humor with me, all I could think was “okay God, real funny, you’re going to give the girl who hates needles and faints when she gets her blood taken a condition that requires needles and blood four times a day?!”  So I decided that He was just trying to make me tougher, I accepted it, and moved forward.  Now, reading these other people’s stories, I realize the real blessing in disguise here.  The reason that these other babies didn’t make it (in a few of the cases) was because the blockage wasn’t allowing the babies to urinate at all, which completely diminished the amniotic fluid.  Without amniotic fluid, the lungs can’t develop, so when the babies were born, aside from their bladder & kidney issues, their lungs weren’t formed so they couldn’t breathe.  The reason this didn’t happen with Ryder was because….I had diabetes!  This causes the complete opposite, too much amniotic fluid!  In fact, that’s the whole reason they did the late term sonogram in the first place, was to check my amniotic fluid level to make sure it wasn’t too high because of the diabetes, and that’s when they found the swollen bladder & kidney’s indicating a blockage (which turned out to be PUV).  My fluid level stayed at the normal level for the rest of my pregnancy…which is ironic because it either should have been A) way too high due to the diabetes or B) way too low due to Ryder’s blockage.  I’m so so so so so thankful that we were able to balance each other out!  This allowed Ryder’s lungs to form, and even being born 6 weeks premature, he never had to have any breathing assistance!  In the other baby’s case, they did not have a late term sonogram and were completely unaware of the PUV’s so the baby had kidney failure shortly after birth :(  Again, thanks to the diabetes, we had a reason to take a look later on in the pregnancy.  Since the doctors were aware of the blockage, they were able to intervene immediately after birth to relieve the pressure that the blockage was causing on his kidneys.

I thank God for Ryder and for his health every night when I lay him down for bed, but these past few days I can’t help but thank Him in the morning, noon, night, in the car, at work, when Ryder laughs…I want him to know how very thankful I am for everything.  Especially (cringing because I never thought these words would come out of my mouth) for the diabetes ;-P

If you want to read about any of the families I was referring to, you can click Here, Here, Here, Here, and Here.  I’m sure these families could really use our prayers, I can’t even imagine what they must be going through.

Wow, what a reality check…