Ryder Funnies

I haven’t posted any Ryder Funnies lately and I wish I could remember all of the funny stuff that comes out of his mouth!  But here are just a few I remembered to jot down.

Transitioning Ryder to a big boy bed was such an easy experience for us (thank you God!), in fact to this day he still will not get up on his own.  He lays in bed yelling for me if he needs something throughout the night or when he wakes up.  One night I put him to bed then sat in the living room and was shocked to hear his door open.  He froze when he saw me, waiting for my reaction, which I didn’t have one because I wasn’t even prepared to handle that, so he just busted out laughing.  I walked him back to his room trying to figure out my game plan to make sure that didn’t happen again.  Just as I was about to have the serious talk with him he said “Did you like that magic trick Mom?  I just appeared out of my room!”  It’s so hard to be serious with him.

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Ryder is a very logical person, he always has to know how things work and why they work a certain way.  He will ask question after question until he understands something and will move on.  Well the other night he woke up with a stomach bug.  He’s never really been sick to the point of throwing up before, so he could not make sense of this, and it kept happening about every 45 minutes.  While he was throwing up he would say “I just don’t get this!” “This makes NO sense” “Why would ANYONE think this is a good idea to be sick????”  Another serious situation where I just can’t help but laugh.

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Speaking of being logical, Ryder was going potty the other day and he said “Mom, oh oh ohhhh, I get it, so you’re saying when I drink something, it goes into my pee generator, and comes out as pee, poop, or snot???”  Ummmm…sure.

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Maisy was tattle-tailing on Ryder the other day, her version of tattling is to cry as dramatically as she can and yell “BRUBBAAAAA” to let us know he has done something to devastate her.  I walked in the room to find out what happened.

Me:  Ryder, what did you do??

Ryder:  I didn’t do nothing TO her!

Me:  Well obviously you did if she’s crying and yelling your name.

Ryder: She’s not yelling my name.

Me: Well she’s yelling Brother and you’re the only one she has.

Ryder (turns to Maisy): Maisy, I’m not your brother, I’m just a regular man!

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The other night we were all riding to the grocery store in the truck.  Me & Alan were having normal conversation and Ryder kept interrupting saying “Shhhh! “You guys be quiet” Shhhh you’re making too much noise”.  Finally I asked, “Ryder, why do you keep telling us to be quiet??” He said “Because I’m trying to hunt!”  Alan said “oh yeah, what are you hunting for??” He said “Barbeque chicken!”

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Ryder was going pee before bed the other night, telling me some long complex story of course, so he wasn’t paying a lot of attention to his aim.  Well wouldn’t you know he moved and pee came shooting straight for my leg!  My eyes got big and before I could even get the words out to yell at him he said “Mom, you had a fire on your leg, don’t worry, I got it!”

This child, I swear.