Mommy’s Birthday & Some Ryder funnies

Today was my Birthday…and in my true birthday week fashion, I’ve been celebrating for a week!  Friday night Alan took me out to dinner (PF Changs, my fave!) and gave me a charm necklace from him & the kids (love it!).  Tuesday Nana brought dinner over.  Today my Mom came over and cooked dinner and even cleaned my kitchen afterwards.  Love all the spoiling, I’ll take it once a year!  No matter how cheesy it sounds, the best present I feel like I shouldn’t even be lucky enough to have are my two children.  One sweet baby girl who melts my heart at the very thought of her…and one special boy who keeps me smiling and makes my heart happy.  Ryder sang Happy Birthday to me about 10 times today.  He would say “is it still your birthday?”  and then start singing “Happy Birthday dear my best friend Momma”…sweet boy.

Here are some of his latest and greatest, for your entertainment!

Mommy: Ryder what do you want for your Birthday?

Ryder: A pocket knife

Mommy (actually contemplating this request): What in the world do you need a pocket knife for??

Ryder: ummm to cut Maisy!

Mommy (feeling ridiculous for actually contemplating that kind of request from a 2 yr old): well now I know what NOT to get you for your birthday!

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The last time Ryder was at the Doctor, I mentioned the fact that sometimes he complains about his butt itching (sorry if this is TMI).   She checked him out, all was well, and he has never really mentioned it again.  Until the other day after I picked him up and told him Daddy wouldn’t be home for a while because he had a doctors appointment.  Daddy called after his appointment, of course Ryder wanted to talk to him.

“Hey daddy, what did you go to the doctor for?  Does your butt itch or something??”

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Ryder’s hanging out in our room the other day, looking for something to get into on Alan’s nightstand.  He finds a shotgun shell.

Ryder: “hey Daddy, what’s this for?”

Daddy: “oh that’s for Mommy’s boyfriend”

Ryder runs into the kitchen holding his shotgun shell, I’m doing the dishes oblivious to this conversation.

Ryder: “Mommy, Daddy said this is for your boyfriend!

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Ryder asked me to turn a song on in the truck (he knows all the songs on Daddy’s ipod and requests them by name!).  I didn’t realize the music was up so loud so when it first came on it was blaring.  Ryder said “Oh, that just scared my ears!”

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I love hearing stories from other people about things Ryder says when I’m not around.  The other day Ryder asked Pap-Pap “Why are you all wrinkled?”  Pap-pap laughed and said “well that’s just what happens when you get older”.  Ryder said “no that’s what happens when you stay in the bath too long, but you didn’t take a bath!”  Hours later I got there to pick him up and the first thing he said to me was “Mom, Pap’s all wrinkled, but he didn’t take a bath, how can his wrinkles ever go away?”  I again explained to him that Pap’s wrinkles aren’t from the bath.  Two days later he gets home from Nana & Pap’s and says “Daddy, I need your razor so I can take it to Pap and shave all his wrinkles off!”  Poor Pap…Ryder is just not going to drop this wrinkle thing.

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Mommy (talking to myself, something I need to stop doing out loud): Man, I dont know about this bath seat Maisy, it kind of looks uncomfortable on your……..hoo-ha.

Ryder: What did you just say Mom?

Mommy: Ohhhh nothing, just trying to figure out if Maisy is okay in this seat.

Ryder: No but what did you say about a hoo-ha?

Mommy: Nothing buddy, I was just talking to myself.

Ryder: No but you said hoo-ha.  Why did you say hoo-ha?  What is a hoo-ha.

Mommy: Oh Ryder, I was just saying hoo-ha about Maisy’s private parts, like you have a monster, she has a hoo-ha.

Ryder: Do you have a hoo-ha?

Mommy: yes.

Ryder: Does Mikayla have a hoo-ha?

Mommy: yesss.

Ryder: Does Callie have a hoo-ha?

Mommy: YES Ryder all girls have hoo-ha’s and I don’t think their Daddy’s would appreciate us sitting here talking about them…SO can we please change the subject?!

(sorry girls).

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The other morning Ryder brought his cash cow to Nana’s.  He was so excited when he got there to show Nana & Pap what he brought.  He sat it down and just as he was getting ready to show it off, here comes Maisy on her mission to ruin big brother’s morning.  She grabbed it.  He yelled “DON’T TOUCH MY CASH COW, IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU MAISY!!!”

This child is 2 going on 15!